Ways to Deal with Emotions

Emotions are a powerful tool that we can use if we fully understand what they are trying to tell us. A lot of people try dealing with their emotions by pushing them to the side or taking them head on. Those strategies may work in the short run but long term they will only get worse. 

That being said I am here to give you a strategy on how to positively deal with your emotions and how to use them to your advantage. 

Step 1: Question the Emotion 

Ask yourself what type of message this emotion is really trying to get across to you. When you figure out what it really means begin moving forward and transforming what it means to you. 

Step 2: Brainstorm Possible Outcomes

It is easier to act on emotions when you brainstorm how you can use them. When thinking of how you will act also start thinking about what will come out of it. Come up with a solid idea of where you are going and how you will get there. This makes it easier for your mind to actually allow you to achieve getting to that state of happiness. 

Step 3: Action

After you’ve figure out what the emotions true meaning and have came up with a solid plan of action, put it into action. When acting on emotional messages work on developing the skills of focus, patience, and communication. These skills will help you build relationships, create conversations, and change your life. 

Step 4: Reflection

After acting on an emotional message take the time to reflect on what you did and how you did it. Ask yourself what you did right and what you did wrong. Emotional progress is mastered  through trial and error. Learn from the mistakes and reward yourself for the positive. 

I highly recommend taking these steps the next time you feel an emotion spiraling out of control. Remember, every emotion we feel is trying to tell us a deeper meaning that gives us the opportunity to possibly take our life to the next level. Don’t miss your opportunity. 

Emotional Breakthrough 

The state we are in during any particular moment powerfully impacts the meaning we assign to something. 

Have you ever lost your cool on someone but didn’t mean to? The state you were in was the reason for your action to become upset with that person even though they may have done nothing at all. Developing successful relationships results when a person learns to live life where they and the people around them feel no pain because of emotions. Choosing to feel good tends to form a state of happiness. Just like a muscle your mind needs constant exercise in order to grow. Pushing yourself beyond the limit and that is when you will start to see the growth. 
                           

                             Emotion Wheel 


Now if it was that simple everyone would be happy. So let’s begin to understand just how to develop this state of happiness. 
Changing state means changing the meaning you link to something. One way that you can change your state is by changing your physiology (movement of your body). Someone who goes for a run everyday will feel more “alive” than the person who sleeps until twelve o’clock every morning. Why? This is because every single emotion you have can be linked back to your physical motion. Emotions send different biochemical impulses to your body which then effect your overall state. More motion results in more emotion. 

Think of your state on a level from zero to ten. Ten being unstoppable and zero being terrible. What level are you in at this moment? Learning to live at level ten will overtime lead to the formation of a habit. Having the habit to live at level ten will transform your entire life. The constant state of positivity will not only feed your hunger to get more but also positivity grow the relationships with those around you. The more we measure our level the better we will get at maintaining it.

What we tell ourselves also plays a role in developing a state of happiness. If we hangs what we focus on we can change how we feel. Try not to focus on the the pain of the past because the outcome will never change. Sometimes we think about bad things that haven’t even occured yet which cause our state to change. Why would someone focus on something that hasn’t happened yet? Having faith and courage will allow you to feel the pain of emotions once and then move forward. Try thinking about something that made you happy in the past or something that you are looking forward to. Your brain cannot tell the difference between a real life event and a dream. This means the things we vividly imagine have the same impact on us as the real life experiences we have had. 


Certain questions you ask yourself link what type of feeling you will have from an emotion. See, most people act on their emotions the moment they feel it which most of the time results in a negative outcome. Next time this happens ask yourself “What else could this mean”? When asking this you are looking for the deeper meaning that truly drives this emotion. What is this emotion really trying to tell me? It could mean a chance to grow a certain skill or maybe rebuild a broken relationship. Whatever it is be sure to stop and take a minute to ask yourself these questions. 

There is no such thing as a negative emotion. All feelings you have are trying to give you the deeper message so that you can evolve your life to the next step. You have the choice to do one of two things when you figure out what an emotion is really trying to tell you. 

  • Change your perception 
  • Take action 

What makes a negative emotion is when you don’t fully understand the message it is trying to get across to you. The key is to figure out the meaning quick because over time it will begin to get bigger. Don’t make your emotions wrong, appreciate them for what they are and use them to make your life better. 

Check out my post “Ways to Deal with Emotions” for more insight on the specific steps to take when creating an emotional breakthrough. 

Process to Achievement 

Goals can be achieved through hard work and a solid plan of action. I call this the “Process to Achievement” and if taken into consideration it can help you check off the goals you’ve always dreamed of achieving. It is broken into four categories that deal with the aspect human emotion and some core values that we all posses. 

Influence  

There are several factors that can influence our lives. Surroundings, individuals, and ideology are just a few of the influences that can start shaping the mindset of a person. 


Influence can pull you towards a goal but in an instant destroy it. The key to finding the right influence is to listen to your heart and be open to advice from other people who have accomplished some of the same goals. Be careful because not everyone means well so when searching for what influences you be sure to use good judgement. 

Beliefs 

Have you ever sat down and really thought about what you believed in? Beliefs are what make up the ideas of this world. They have been know to start wars while others have changed the way people look at the things as a whole. 


Core beliefs are what will play the biggest role in how many of your goals will end up being achieved. At one point along the line challeges will come up and your beliefs are what will hold everything together. 

Finding what you believe in is just a small part when working towards a goal. In order to keep the process moving forward, grow on those core beliefs and by doing this you will be propeled towards that ultimate goal. 

Focus
Stay sharp when making decisions and don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Failure is a part of life but it does not define our nature as humans. I’ve made more mistakes than I could ever count but what keeps me going is the hunger for progress and desire to learn how to correct those mistakes. Failure doesn’t determine our future, controlling our emotions does.


By focusing on the small success you have each day it will eventually add up. Progression of the mind (focus) will move a person to reach a peak performance ready to tackle any obstacle standing in the way. 

Patience 

Good things come in time and it applies to goals as well. It may take weeks, months, or even years to achieve a goal so be prepared to sharpen your patience. 

Patience is essentially the key to controlling emotion. By developing this skill you can open doors along the journey that you never thought possible. 

Have faith in what is coming but also understanding there may be an outside force that are working in your favor. Listen to your heart and learn to control the emotions that drive you forward. Figure out how to master your mind and the world will open up to you. 

The Jar of Life

The CEO of a successful company walks into a room filled with newly hired employees ready to start their first day on the job. In his hands are a jar, a few rocks, pebbles, and a bag of sand. He sets the items down on the table and begins to place the rocks into the jar. When all of the rocks had been placed inside he asks the crowd if the jar was full. They responded, “yes.” He then took the pebbles and began pouring them into the jar filling the open spaces between the rocks. He then asked the same question of whether or not the jar was full. Once again the crowd answered, “yes!” The CEO began to chuckle which confused the newly hired employees. They began to wonder what type of message he was trying to get across. Finally, he poured the bag of sand into the jar which filled the remaining areas between the pebbles and rocks. He once more asked if the jar was full and the crowd roared, “YES!”

The CEO replied:

“The open space is the amount of time you have while the rocks, the pebbles, and the sand represent the things you choose to spend that time on. The rocks are the bigger things like family, your partner, and friends. The pebbles are the less important things like your job, car, and money. The sand is the small things that we do not need but most of the time we want the most. If you choose to first fill the jar with sand, not all the rocks and pebbles will fit. But if you fill the jar with the rocks, then the pebbles, followed by the sand, everything will fit. This jar and everything in it represents your life.”

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Time is limitless but what is limited is the time we have to live. Scary to think about but we never truly know when our last moment will be. The question of how you live your life is a question only you have the answer to. Someone can tell you to do this and do that but at the end of the day, the only person that made the decision to do so is you.

Rather than listening to someone else about how you should live your life, search deep down inside your own soul for the real meaning of why you were created. This will not only influence your life but also influence the lives of those around you as well. When you start to understand the idea of helping others you can truly realize what it means to “feel alive.” When you “feel alive” you become happy and when you become happy you become fulfilled. When you become fulfilled, you will do everything in your power to stay fulfilled.

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There is a bigger picture to life. Those who stand for something greater than just themselves are usually the ones who live meaningful lives. These people wake up every morning thinking of ways they can improve themselves, but also improve those around them. When you take the time to influence others that will be the moment you truly change the world.

Key to Happiness

Contributing Writer: Ian Malesiewski

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Everyone gets ONE chance at life. So the question I have is why do so many people let negativity, hate, and fear define who they are.

Whether you know it or not the decisions you make today will have an effect on your future. Every single choice that we make determines who we will be and the life that we will ultimately live.

One critical choice we all make is choosing to live up to what we set out to do in life. static1.squarespace

Everyone wants to be rich but not everyone wants to put in the work to get rich. We can all talk a big game but few of us can actually have the courage to go through with we say we are going to do. People often look for the things that they want right now which results in losing focus on what they want in the long run. Rather than putting effort into what is going to get them to their goals, people worry about what’s going to make them happy in the moment.

When you decide to really focus on something you want most of the time you will achieve it. However, the key to getting what you want can only start with YOU. “I can” and “I can’t” are the two biggest factors that come into play during your decision process. When you start believing “I can” over time it turns into “I will”. Those who choose to believe in themselves will be the ones to turn the impossible into the possible.

Life doesn’t give handouts. If you’re going to do something, DO IT! Have the determination to stand up for what you want, that’s the only way you’re going to get it.

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The people you choose to associate yourself with also plays a major role in the life you will live.

If you want to be truly happy why would you waste your time with those who are unhappy? It’s common sense, focus on the people who truly are worth your time and reject those who tell you otherwise. You’re so-called “friends” start to drop off when it becomes an inconvenience for them to stick around but true friends will always be there, even in hard times.

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The way you treat other people will determine who you will have throughout the rest of your life. Happiness is measured in all kinds of ways, but what will make you feel truly fulfilled is when you have others around to share that happiness with. If you’re negative towards others don’t be surprised when that negativity comes right back at you.

At the end of the day just be kind and respect the people in your life that are willing to be kind to you. Once you find the group of people who share the same interests as you and are willing to respect the person you are, stick with them.

Remember the effort you put in, will determine what you get back in return.

As crazy as it sounds, personal happiness is created through decisions. When you understand that the key to happiness lies in the choices we make, then you will truly be happy.

 

Who Will You Be?

When thinking about the most significant leaders of all time names like Nelson Mandela, Julius Caesar, and Martin Luther King Jr. come to mind.

I firmly believe that in life there are two types of people, those who follow and those who lead. Only you can make the choice of whether to be a leader or a follower.

However, there are a couple specific characteristics that you must master before you become a true leader.

Be Caring

If you don’t take the time out of your day to care for others, why should they care for you? It goes back to the old saying treat others how you want to be treated. How you act towards others will determine what you get back in return. If you are known for treating others with disrespect, prepare for others to treat you with disrespect. The relationships you build will be determined on how much you care for those individuals around you.

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Be Courageous

We all have challenges in our life. But what makes a leader is when they use the courage to overcome the challenges that try to break them down. The fears we have in life are painful, we can all agree. However, those with courage are prepared to suffer in order to fulfill their purpose. If you don’t have the courage to just be you, how do you expect others to follow?

Use Your Creativity

Everyone enjoys having fun and what better way to have fun than to be creative. Who says you can’t be the one to inspire others creativity through your own? What lasts FOREVER is when you have the capability to impact others hearts through your own sense of creativity.

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Everyone has the ability to change the world, it’s if YOU choose to do so or not that will measure your true creativity. Dr. Seuss said it best.

“Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if you only try.”

Your mind has no limits. When you’re willing to explore it that will be the moment you become limitless.

Have Confidence

The biggest mistake a person can make is not understanding the difference between confidence and ARROGANCE.

A confident person is willing to admit their mistakes and show areas of weakness, improving themselves in the long run. To be confident you must be open to new ideas and advice so that you can, in turn, grow as a human being.

We all know someone who thinks they’re right about everything. This is a perfect example of a person with an arrogant attitude. Arrogant people point fingers at others because of the insecurities deep down they have for themselves.

Unless they believe it to be true, it’s wrong in their mind. I feel sorry for individuals like this because of one reason, they will NEVER truly feel fulfilled.

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There are FOUR actions a person must decide to take in order to be truly confident.

  1. Don’t compare yourself to others, center your attention on you and you only.
  2. Don’t get overwhelmed with what life throws at you. Stay cool, calm, and collected by focusing on the overall goal you have for yourself.
  3. Learn to love the person you are. Whether you know it or not there are people in this world that care about the person you become.
  4. Be POSITIVE! The situations you see positive WILL have a positive result. However, the situations you see negative WILL have a negative result.

Coach Others

Leaders see their skills as that of extreme value.

One particular skill that they possess is coaching others to believe in the person they truly are capable of being. If you can’t sacrifice yourself to make those around you better you will NEVER be a true leader.

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Finally, don’t be afraid to stand out, you’ll be surprised how many people follow. Everyone has the skills to become a great leader, but only YOU can make the lasting change you want to see happen. Life is full of uncertainty and fear, I hope that in the future people will start taking action to make the world we live in a better place. Not only for themselves but for all of us.

There’s those who choose to lead and then there’s those who choose to follow.

Who will you choose to be?